| (no subject) |
[Feb. 5th, 2008|08:49 am] |
FUCKSSAKE
I have a seminar at 10am with a fat hippy woman who I hate but I'm probably going to miss it anyway because my flatmate has spent so long in the fucking shower that there's a foot of water in the bath that won't drain. ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2006|08:53 am] |
I have to stop reading feminist blogs first thing in the morning. It only depresses me.
I wish I could have stayed in bed. I'm tired and have a little cold. I could stay in bed for another hour though... I better decide now or I could be wasting valuable sleep time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|10:35 am] |
So, I got assaulted by a scene kid. I hate those bastards, I really do. You look like a twat with your black fashion mullet and skin-tight jeans.
Got a headache. I don't deserve one, I only had three drinks last night. It could be because I have to sit in the dark because my light has broken. It would break at the weekend, of course. I don't even know who to tell to get it fixed. Grrrrr.
I'm going to get dressed and go shopping. I need a new notepad and a contacts book. My dad said it was really important to keep a list of the details of everyone you talk to when writing for a paper. I also might look for a new coat. Maybe. Then I have to start writing.
Argh, my head. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2006|01:46 am] |
I went to The Cockpit with Beth and Lauren, and their respective boys. It was great until some random guy hit me in the face. I was walking to the cloakroom, and I walked past two (ridiculously scene) guys, one of whom reached out and hit me. I was too shocked to do anything. I told the bouncer, but it happened so fast, the only description I could give was 'short and black hair'.
At least it's something to put in my article. That guy would not have hit me if I was another man. It's so strange, I'm not even sure if I'm angry. Maybe I'm conditioned to accept it.
The fight is not over. For everyone who dismisses feminism, what about when you get raped and the defence lawyer holds up your pretty underwear in court, because only a slag wears those kind of knickers? How about when your male colleague gets paid more than you do for the same job? What about every time you walk home alone in the dark, keys clutched tightly in your hand, the only feeble defence you have?
Damn it, I am going to write one kick-ass article... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 10th, 2006|05:30 pm] |
Wow. I went to the features meeting for the student newspaper this afternoon. I was so scared, I was practically shaking. It was ace though. While I was waiting outside, two girls came up who were also new, and I was so glad I wasn't the only one.
I have two things to do. One is an opinion opposing a recent comment suggesting that feminism is no longer necessary. I can definitely write about that and I'm going to do it this week. The other is a feature the editor wants about students with children, which I'm working on with another girl. We have two weeks for it, and we're going to go and interview parents and find out about funding, problems etc.
I can hardly believe I actually went. I feel so proud!
In other news, I fell in love with a red leather bomber jacket in Blue Rinse. It was so perfectly Jess-sized, and I was gutted to find out someone had reserved it. They had others which were nice, but didn't fit so well.
I'm going out tonight with Lauren, so badly need to tidy my room and decide what to wear. Hmmmm... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|10:24 am] |
More laziness. But I'm going to meet Beth for lunch later, yay.
Then I am food shopping and possibly buying a sports bra. Jaq is making my Valentine's Day present. I have no idea what to get/make for him. Hmmmm.
Now I'm going to go and make my hair good. I really wish I could cut it myself, to save myself the horror of communication breakdown between self and hairdresser. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2006|06:28 pm] |
I'm still at Jaq's. I was going to go to uni today, but according to GMTV, it's National Sickie Day. So I felt obliged to stay in bed. Now I feel guilty and inefficient. I feel bad for mooching around Jaq's house eating stuff and making mess. At least I did contribute to the household by going out to buy margarine. Do I beat myself about stuff too much?
I was going to get the train back tonight, but Jaq is out at football til 8pm, and the only train after that is one that takes nearly 2 hours and involves changing at York. Bah. More guilt.
I think too much. I thought I had life and myself all figured out, but I don't. I waste far too much time sitting about thinking about things. And I'm so unhealthy. Obviously I'm not fat, and I do eat well, but I can hardly run 20 metres, and I feel pretty fat on the inside. I might buy a sports bra and start jogging. Yes, I will do that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|07:21 pm] |
Today I'm going to write about my favourite stuff.
Favourite things:
A bright orange Le Creuset saucepan which is worth about £70 but my mum got it brand new in a charity shop for about a tenner. I love it because it's such good quality, and my parents got a green one as a wedding present. It just makes me think of good things, especially spaghetti.
The handbag Beth got me for Christmas. It's maroon and from Blue Rinse, and I love it because I would never have thought to buy it for myself, yet it's gorgeous.
My photography books. I have two Vogue books, a David LaChapelle one, and a couple of large general ones. They are beautiful.
The stencils Jaq made for me. One is of Snake, the other is a butterfly.
My make-up. Superficial, I know, but I have MAC and Urban Decay eyeshadows. They are my lifeblood. I even still have the boxes they came in.
Lucky knickers. They rock.
The black shawl I got from Blue Rinse. It smelled a bit funny at first, but it's just the most fantastic accessory I have.
My blue checked shirt. Ok, so it shrunk a little in the wash, but I still love it. I think I look best in shirts, and this shirt is damn sexy.
A photo of me when I was little, playing in my Granny's garden in Devon. I look quite bizarre in it, like a happy little chipmunk dressed up as a colour-blind gipsy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|09:09 pm] |
Unfortunately, life is not like the bee game. There are no easy victories, no cute bees and no relaxing soundtracks.
My exam sucketh muchly. Considered breaking down in tears, but realised that it might be embarrassing. Tonight I am going to watch Desperate Housewives. Or I might just go to sleep and get my parents to tape it.
Tomorrow I am going to Borders. Bringing out the big guns, because Borders is like a drug for me. It makes me very happy. And I am going to buy stationary such as notepads and a diary (pretty stationary of course). With these pretty things, I will become organised and super-efficient. I might also buy a cheap skirt, because I damn well deserve it. And am allowed to, seeing as I'm saving money by not going out tomorrow and Friday night.
And then, one quiet evening soon, my wardrobe and I are having a little party. Basically, I'm going to make new outfits from old clothes.
If I didn't still read newspapers and have opinions, I would probably be a living Barbie doll. Hmmmm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|06:07 pm] |
In a much better mood. The boy and I sorted stuff out. He just loves to share, and has his own reasons for this, which I can kind of understand. His excuse is that talking about me is a kind of therapy for when I'm not there, which is quite sweet, and he doesn't mean to upset me. Hopefully he'll keep the more private stuff to himself from now on.
I also sorted my rent out. Yay. Kind of.
As for the exam tomorrow, that's not going so well. I think my best option is to watch Peepshow dvds. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|04:52 pm] |
Well. The cut is good, the colour is not so good. I wanted it to be much more dark brown, but it's only semi permanent.
Jaq told me it looks sexy. He is a lovely boy. Jaq and I have a new shared interest: Lindsay Lohan. She is so beautiful. I am in girl-love. I wanted my hair to be Lindsay-brown.
It's not too bad as it is. It'll look lots better when I've dried it myself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|10:17 am] |
Last night I dreamt that Paul Cook pissed on me, and then I beat him up. Random.
My auntie said she had slept with one of the lecturers at Leeds, and I just realised it's the warden for my residences. Ewwww, gross. He's really scary, I saw him having a major strop at one of the sub-wardens one night, calling her all sorts of things in front of everyone in my block.
One hour until the hair cut. I'm scared. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2006|07:10 pm] |
I felt quite bad for leaving Lauren on her own last night, so walked to Headingley and bought her flowers. My feet still ache like mad from last night though.
Have been on a cleaning mission today. I hate it when my room's untidy because it makes me feel like I'm just a mess in general. I have hoovered it, washed all my towels/sheets/clothes, and put everything where it should be. I lined my shoes up in a row, they are so pretty. I have seven pairs of shoes: Converse, cowboy boots, black boots, white boots, strappy heels, red wedge Mary Janes, and navy and silver flats. Shoe heaven.
I should be revising really, but with the exception of my literature module, I've given up. Next week, when semester 2 starts, then the work starts.
My hair appointment is tomorrow, scared. I think it should be brown, not red, as I am red enough already. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|11:50 am] |
I might buy some powder today. I have about £10 of Boots vouchers which need spending.
Quite happy at the moment. And I'm excited about going out tonight. It looks like we're off to the Dry Dock first, which is full of pretty boys. I am allowed to look. Then Fab Cafe, as Lauren wants a drumstick lolly. Imagine if Mojos was a club. Then the Cockpit, which is rather good on a Saturday night.
Not sure what to do with myself right now. Might go cheap shopping. Need to go to Blue Rinse for some kind of pretty accessory. Then need to work out what to wear tonight. Hmmmm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2006|10:31 pm] |
What are 'flood-length jeans'?
Sat eating honey on toast, much satisfied.
Spent nearly £40 on food today. I don't know how that happened. But I guess that's the price of eating fresh, decent stuff compared to frozen microwaveable shit with god-knows-what in it. No wonder half the country is obese.
But anyway, I have good food.
I wish I had stayed at Jaq's longer tonight. Just as I was leaving to get the train, his mum said she was making pasta I really like. It's just spaghetti with chili, olives, garlic, olive oil and parmesan. Love. I felt bad saying I was just leaving. He was moaning about me staying another night, because I currently have a habit of hugging him really tightly when asleep, which is really fun for him. Meh, I get cold.
Watched Mean Girls today, it was easily the funniest movie I've seen for ages. Got somewhat disheartened at all the perfect cheekbones, but whatever. And I love Lindsay Lohan even more now that she has really dark hair. Still have to decide what colour to dye my hair.
Off out to the Cockpit tomorrow night, yay. Have to dig out something good to wear. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my clothes, especially when out.
I miss my pretty boy. He really is very pretty. But I shall see him soon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|09:26 pm] |
I wrote half a post last night about everyone sacking me off. Then I deleted it, because I'm in a good mood, damnit, and other people aren't going to change that.
One of Jaq's friends says she doesn't believe in feminism, because she thinks men and women aren't equal and she likes chivalry and romance. Why does romance only have to go one way? That's a dumb idea. I'm not some weak, pathetic woman, needing to have doors opened for me etc. It's just politeness, the way I treat Jaq. I think she's missed the point of feminism.
The point is: social equality. I want to be paid as much as a man doing the same job, I want to be able to vote, I want the freedom to sleep with whoever I want, marry whoever I want, and every other little thing that people take for granted.
Aside from the mad radicals, the goal of feminism was for women to have the same opportunities and rights as men. How can you argue with that? I get bored of people slagging off feminism, because all they can think of is militant, fat, hairy man-hating lesbians. No one would complain about people campaigning for racial equality, but apparently the F word is taboo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|06:23 pm] |
Today was fun!
I did my Reading Prose exam this morning, it went really well. Yay! I wrote about Barthes and Henry James and posed many interesting philosophical questions, some of which I even answered.
Then I dashed to the station to meet my boy. We wandered around the city centre, which at one point involved me being physically dragged to a hair salon to make an appointment, as he is sick of my indecisiveness and fear of change. Then we went to see the gay cowboy movie, which I'm sorry to say, got kinda boring. The gay bits were good, the rest was a bit slow. He's just got on the train home, and I am back at the flat.
I found the most beautiful boots ever in Topshop. They were in the 'last chance' section and are long and grey with wraparound straps. And they were a size 3, so my feet felt flattered. However, they are £85. Ouch. I don't think any amount of Christmas present begging will sort that out.
A haircut is in order anyway. One of the salons here is doing a free semi-permanent colour with all cuts, and I really like the idea of having dark brown hair with blue eyes. Too indecisive.
I now have a week to relax, decide about hair, and see my boy. All is good! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|10:50 am] |
I suddenly feel quite loquacious!
Although it mostly stems from wanting to have a big, articulate rant about people who irritate me. At least it would be articulate.
I shall condense it as such: I care about my friends, but after a while, I find I only care about the ones that are real friends. It doesn't take much to be one though. People can do really little things that mean a lot. As for the others, it can be tiring to put effort into people who give you nothing back.
Obviously watered down. And this is just how I feel at this exact minute.
Today's plan is to finish the last-minute revision, go to Uni with Alice to do our exams on Homer's Odyssey (woop!) and maybe do a tiny little bit of shopping.
Then tomorrow the boy comes to visit, yay! And we're going to buy paint, and maybe watch the gay cowboy movie. I might even get the train back with him.
Or maybe stay here, as I feel a bit better now. Hmmm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|08:45 pm] |
I'm beginning to rival John in terms of angst. Maybe I am a closet goth. I have geeky allergies, suffer adverse reactions to strong sunlight, and I'm basically just miserable.
Have been considering becoming an extreme scene kid. They have turned their misery into a brand. Black mullet-type thing, lots of makeup, and a MySpace name like xXxMURDERCUNTxXx or **X/DEATHFACE\X**.
No, that's just silly.
Need a change though. Was toying with the idea of buying foundation to hide my blotchy miserable red skin. Went to Boots where a nice Lancome lady slapped some on my face. Looked kind of orange though. My worst fear is looking like a footballer's wife. Need haircut too. A fringe of some kind. New colour, maybe dark brown. Anything to plug the hole my self-esteem is leaking out of.
Can't write either. This is probably the best thing I've written for weeks. I need some kind of life inspiration which will stop me being so self-obsessed and spending all my time crying into my keyboard. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|08:45 am] |
Some angst.
I wish I felt a bit better. I miss Jaq lots, but I think he's coming to Leeds this week.
I wish I enjoyed Uni more. Having no confidence to write doesn't make an English degree very easy. It shouldn't be like this.
Also feeling a bit cornered in my little room. And vaguely bossed about by a flatmate, who needs to realise I'm quite capable of running my own life.
I think the best solution is go to Borders and lose myself in all those lovely books and magazines. |
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